


i'd blame cupid

by graceana



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, Valentine's Day, a little angst but an equal amount of fluff, louis loving flowers and chocolate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 21:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3355253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceana/pseuds/graceana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>secret admirers. cupcakes. a louis who thinks he's screwed everything up but, like always, everything works out in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'd blame cupid

**Author's Note:**

> i started this like 4 days ago and it went in a totally different direction (ha!) than i planned it. it's totally a little cliche and totally a little ridiculous. i think i may be losing my touch. anyways hopefully you like it, and happy valentine's day!! all and any mistakes are my own!! enjoy .x 
> 
> (also thank you to veronika for always being there when i ask for her, luff you .x) 
> 
> sidenote: the first poem is by tkg and is linked in! the other two i made up.

Louis is overwhelmed by the sights before him.

There are countless buckets and stands with flowers spilling over the edges. All are in bloom and full of life even though it’s February and spring doesn’t come for another couple of months.

“Can I help you, sir?” He hears someone ask in a sweet voice. Louis turns away from the bright sunflowers he was eyeing to see a short brunette with pink cheeks smiling at him.

“I’m good. Thanks, love,” Louis replies with a sincere smile.

The girl smiles and before she turns away she chirps, “If you need anything, let me know!”

Nodding, Louis returns to the sunflowers that are sitting in a deep green bucket on the floor. They aren’t that tall yet, about 6 inches off of the floor. Their centers are dull and wide but the petals that encompass the large eye are like fanned out lashes coated in gold glitter.

Most people would probably find it weird that the only reason Louis is in this flower shop is to buy some flowers for _himself_ and not someone else. He can’t explain it, he’s always had a soft spot for them. Maybe because their sweet smell reminds him of his mother, or how their innocence could match that of his younger siblings.

Louis carefully picks two of the bright flowers from the bucket and holds them carefully in his hand. He knows the minute he walks into the flat Harry is gonna complain that he wants one too, so.

He continues through the shop, admiring the softly colored forget-me-knots and the brightly colored tulips. Taking a deep breath, Louis lets the sweet smell of the flowers wash over him. It’s strange, he thinks, how he likes the smell of natural flowers but hates the smell of things that are supposed to mimic the smell of flowers.

Shrugging, Louis makes his way over to the case with the pre-made bouquets and scans the selection until his eyes catch on a warmly colored bunch. The yellows, reds and oranges of the bouquet make it look like Louis is holding a flame in his hand when he waves it through the air.

Finally satisfied with the choices he’s made, Louis turns the corner to head towards the register when he’s assaulted by the strong aroma of roses.

 _Ah_ , he thinks. _I was wondering where this display was._

Honestly, he was surprised when he walked in and didn’t see the Valentine’s Day display at front and center.

The display isn’t at it’s full glory today though, since there is still a week until the stupid holiday. There are dozens of roses in almost every color, bouquets thick and swirling with soft pinks and deep reds. Above each section sits a small chalkboard with pink and white letters. Happy Valentine’s Day! reads one.   _Dozen = £21. Half = £11.50. Single = £2._

Louis isn’t particularly fond of the Love Holiday, hasn’t been for the last 4 years. He doesn’t see the appeal of it, like, it’s really only an excuse for couples to be even more gross in public.  Maybe he’s just bitter because this would be his 4th V-Day alone.

Well, not technically. But, Louis likes to wallow, leave him alone.

Let’s be honest, the only good thing that comes from this holiday is the discounted sweets on the 15th.

Before Louis actually sets the display alight with his eyes, he strides to the register where he’s greeted with a smile.

“Find everything all right?” The same girl from earlier asks.

“I did, thank you.” Louis smiles, settling down the flowers on the counter and grabbing his wallet from his back pocket.

“Getting ready for the holiday early?” Lucy - the name is written in curly font on her name tag - says to Louis. Her facial expression if playful and light, but Louis understands the implication.

“Actually these are for me,” he says; a light blush starts to dust his cheeks. He doesn’t get embarrassed about this anymore, hasn’t since he was 19, but the topic always makes him blush as if it did. Most people don’t expect a 23 year old man with almost an arm full of tattoos, and 2 days worth of scruff to be buying flowers for himself.

Lucy’s smile doesn’t falter. “They’re excellent choices either way.” She takes Louis’ debit card from his hand and scans it. “I might actually take some of those sunflowers home with me as well, now that you mention it.”

Smiling, Louis retrieves his debit card and flowers. “Have a nice day!” he chirps as he makes his way to leave.

“You too!” she replies before the shop’s door shuts.

The walk from the small cluster of shops - the Square, Louis everyone he knows calls it - to his and Harry’s flat is a short one. It takes nearly 10 minutes. That is, of course, if Louis doesn’t get distracted. Which he does, almost 80% of the time.

Today his distraction seems to come in the form of a sweet shop that he’s never seen before. The signs outside are bright and welcoming; thankfully only one mentions the Holiday of November Babies.

“Bonjour!” a clearly English voice shouts, when Louis walks into the sweet smelling shop.

The voice came from a boy with wispy curls, one’s that could almost rival Harry’s. Almost.

“Bonjour,” Louis answers back, already too distracted by the large case of sweets before him. There are rows of different kinds of fudge and countless pastries. He’s pretty sure he’s never seen so many differently colored macaroons in his life either.

So, his two weaknesses in life happen to be flowers and sweets. Sue him.

“What would you like?” the boy asks, already putting on the serving gloves. Louis searches for a name tag, he always does, and finds it on the corner of the boy’s apron: Jeremy it reads.

“I would buy this whole case if I could,” Louis jokes. He adjusts the flowers in his hand so they don’t fall, before he starts pointing to things in the case and asking, “Is that good?” and, “What about that?”

Jeremy chuckles. “I haven’t tasted everything yet, but I promise you everything I have is excellent.”

Louis moves a piece of fringe out of his eyes. “That just makes it harder.” He pouts. If only Harry were here to pick out the things for him. Louis’ so indecisive about everything.

Jeremy laughs again, and patiently waits for Louis to make up his mind.

“Okay, I’ve got it,” he says. “I would like, the regular and peanut butter fudge. Two apple turn-overs and -” he scans the case one more time, “Oh! Some lemon macaroons, please.”

Harry loves lemon macaroons.

Jeremy hums while he loads up the pretty pastel pink box with Louis’ goodies before moving down the white marble counter to cash him out.

“Enjoy!”Jeremy says, “Come back any time.”

Laughing good naturedly, Louis wiggles his fingers as much as he can in a wave with all he has in his hands. “Believe me I will be.”

 _I wonder if Harry’s home_. Louis thinks as continues the short distance to their flat.

Fortunately enough, Louis’ questioned is answered because when he walks up to their door it’s unlocked and slightly ajar.

“Oh, hey!” Harry rounds the corner just as Louis walks in. “I was just about to shut that. I just got back from Tesco’s,” he explains.

“Ooh, what’d you buy me?” Louis waggles his eyebrows.

“As if, Tomlinson. You can cook your own dinner tonight.” Harry grins before turning to head, presumably, back to the kitchen.

“Fine, then I guess no sweets for you!” shouts Louis. He quickly toes off his shoes and kicks them to the side of their entrance, so he can follow Harry into the kitchen.

He gently places his flowers on the table and hands Harry the pastel box.

“Where’d you get these from?” Harry asks, opening the box to peer inside.

“Some place in the Square.” Louis shrugs, “I think it’s new because I’ve never seen it before.”

“Of course,” Harry says, voice dripping in a fondly sarcastic tone; he knows better than anymore just how much Louis loves his sweets.

While Harry happily munches on a lemon macaroon Louis grabs one of the glass vases from the top cabinet to fill it up with water.

“No flowers for me?” Harry pouts, his lips are so pink and plump they could probably be in a makeup advert.

Louis knew this would happen.

Smiling to himself, he says in a neutral voice, “If you really want you can have a sunflower.”

“You’re the best Lou Lou,” Harry nearly squeaks and plants a quick kiss to Louis’ cheek.

And, see this the thing. Louis has known Harry for almost a decade now, has properly loved him for almost a 2 years of that time (though he’s positive it’s unrequited) and has _no_ idea how he survived and continues to. Especially since he _lives_ with Harry.

He truthfully has no idea how it happened. Sure, he and Harry have always been a little closer and a lot more flirtier - especially later in their teen years - with each other than our average dude pal duo. But Louis never in a million years thought he’d actually be _stupid_ enough to fall in love with his bestfriend.

When he realised it, and he can remember the exact moment he did. They were sitting in their flat, had finally finished putting everything away and gotten rid of the boxes when Harry dropped right down into Louis’ lap and snuggled him. It’s not like it was a new thing, they always cuddled but this time when Louis carded his fingers through Harry’s hair his heart started to race and the thought just fell into his mind.

Obviously, the following days he had a breakdown about it. He forced Liam and Zayn, his two most dearest friends, to comfort him about it. Which really only meant laying on their couch complaining about his now horrible life while Harry was in class.

He learned to ignore it for the most part. And although Louis has built the biggest wall to keep his feelings for Harry from marching out into his mind, when Harry does certain things one soldier always seems to find a way over the wall and relentlessly attacks Louis’ heart until he can get it under control again.

It sort of hurts in the most fantastic way, though. It engulfs him quickly, like a wave would the shore, and continues to crash over him until that other little voice in Louis’ head points out how Harry won’t ever be his; like salt water seeping into a paper cut.

Shaking himself, Louis wills the heat that’s risen onto his cheeks to go down, and moves to put the flowers into the vase.

Harry’s concentrated on cutting something up for dinner, so Louis takes this opportunity to bring the vase into his room to put next to his computer.

Before leaving to return to the kitchen, he goes to grab his charger near his bed when he notices a rectangle box sitting there; he squints at it.

It’s small, and definitely unthreatening as Louis moves towards it. He thinks he already has an idea as to what’s inside because his friends are assholes who like to keep with tradition. Maybe he shouldn’t give in this year and just ignore it. But his one from last year broke, so.

Sure enough when Louis removes the lid, sitting there surrounded by pink and purple tissues is a baby blue vibrator.

He must admit that it’s annoying that this is, like, the third year they’ve done this, but he gets a free vibrator out of it. Those things are fucking expensive, okay.

When he goes to put the vibrator into his bedside table, a note falls to the floor; he picks it up.

_Something to keep you company on the holiday until you tell Harry xx_

Louis hates his friends.

He opens up a group chat with Zayn and Niall, because they’re always the culprits.

 _fuck you guys._ He sends first.

Then: _thanks for the vib._ With the water droplets emoji.

 _so are you gonna tell him?_ Niall.

 _ni, we both know he doesn’t have the balls to._ Zayn.

Louis doesn’t even give them the time of day. He leaves his phone next to the empty box and heads for the sofa.

He has the balls to, he just doesn’t have the heart to lose his bestfriend.

♡

As always, dinner is amazing.

Louis’ sitting on the couch with a full belly when Harry comes over and invades his space.

“You got something in the mail,” he says, handing Louis a very red envelope.

Louis takes it, notices  that the only thing written on the front is his name and address.

“It doesn’t say who it’s from.” Louis points out.

Harry shrugs. “Whatever.”

Louis slides his finger along the top to open it and then pulls out a card.

“Um,” he says.

It’s a Valentine’s Day card. Six days early. From an anonymous person.

“Well, don’t be rude. Read it.” Harry laughs.

“I’m glad you find this funny,” Louis grumbles. “Because this is rather fucking creepy.”

The card that Louis pulls out is more like a thick piece of single cardstock than a open-up card. Stamped on it is what is supposed to look like a Google search box with the word ‘You’ already typed in; and just like on Google there is a drop down suggestion box which reads, in this order: You auto-complete me. YouTube. You are not a robot. You are my sunshine lyrics.

It’s a cute card, and it does make Louis smile, maybe even a blush a little but that still doesn’t mean it isn’t weird.

“Is that all there is?” Harry asks; Louis almost forgot he was there with how quiet he was being.

“Oh, um.” Louis flips the card over to find a hand written 3 line poem?

_[we](http://tylerknott.com/post/108921197602/we-sat-and-watched-them-the-birds-that-came-to) sat and we watched them,_

_the birds that came to visit._

_we wished we were them._

Louis reads the words over and over and over again in his head. He glances at the swallow that’s on his forearm. This it too weird.

“All right, which one of the boys put you up to this?” Louis asks.

“Uh, none of them?” Harry stutters.

“There is no way this is genuinely from a secret admirer. People don’t even do that anymore.” Louis huffs. “Plus, they wrote about birds! Harry, that is no coincidence. They must know about this,” Louis says, waving his arm in Harry’s face like he doesn’t know about Louis’ bird tattoo.

“Maybe it’s someone who knows you then.” Harry shrugs. “It could happen, Lou.”

Louis stares at him blankly. Harry is too calm.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m not looking at you like anything. Why are you laughing?” Louis tries to say without starting to laugh on his own.

Harry’s face is slowly breaking into a grin, pink mouth stretching up until his dimples are deep and present. His green eyes are nearly sparkling with how weirdly amused he seems by all of this.

“Because,” he bursts out, no longer able to hold it in, “You’ve got a secret admirer!” His laughs are loud and Louis hates the fact that he’s smiling right now. This is _not_ funny.

He goes to stand and leave to his bedroom where he can properly try and figure out who this card is from when Harry wraps his large oof hands around Louis’ tiny waist and pulls him back down onto the couch and starts tickling him.

“Harry!” Louis screeches. Oh god, he didn’t know his voice could get that high.

Harry doesn’t stop. He digs his fingers into Louis’ sides until Louis is breathless with laughter. His face is red, he can feel it. “Haz!” he yells again.

“You’ve got a secret admirer!” Harry yells, like that’s explanation enough for this tickle attack.

“Okay, okay.” Louis scrambles to get away from Harry or at least get him to stop; he does, thankfully.

He stops but he doesn’t move, which means Louis is currently lying with his back flat against the sofa with a hovering Harry Styles above him. Neither one of them are talking, just staring at each other. Louis may be dreaming because he swears he sees Harry’s eyes dart down to his lips.

“Uh, Harry.” Louis giggles. He can feel his face heating up again, so he turns and tries to hide it in the couch cushions.

“Right, sorry,” Harry mumbles.

The silence that follows isn’t awkward but it is charged, with what Louis doesn’t know.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed. I work early tomorrow.” Louis gets up and grabs the card from the table. He briefly thinks about tossing it but then thinks better on it.

“Yeah, me too, actually.”

They both know that they are both perfectly capable of staying up way later than this and waking up early but the air in their living room is too thick for either of them to handle.

“Night, H.”

Louis turns to make his way to his room when Harry grabs his wrist. Louis heart speeds up so quick he’s sure if it were a car it’d break the speedometer.

Whatever Harry was planning on doing or saying, he seems to change his mind because he lets Louis’ wrist fall and gets up, pecks a light kiss to Louis’ cheek - the second one that day - and leaves for his own bedroom.

When Louis gets to his bedroom he does three things: 1) puts the card next to his newly bought flowers, 2) strips down to his pants, and 3) breaks in the new toy Zayn and Niall got him because he’s a horrible person and can’t get the idea of Harry hovering over him out of his head.

♡

“Mate, you’re taking this way too seriously,” says Zayn, an obvious amused smirk sitting on his very attractive face.

“Bro, some guy knows where I fucking _live_. I don’t think I am.”

“It’s probably someone from work.”

“I’ve already thought about that, there is no one that would do this from work.”

Speaking of which that’s where they are heading right now.

They were lucky enough to both find a job at the same company. They basically sit around in their shared office and watch YouTube videos, or see which books are most popular. It’s easy work and pays the bills. Plus, it’s good position to work up from.

“Whatever. I still think you’re taking this way too seriously.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Of course you do.”

They stay silent for a couple more minutes until the tube stops and lets them off at their stop.

“Oh, hey,” Zayn starts as they walk up the steps of the underground. “I forgot to ask. How’d you like the present me and Ni got you?” There’s already a smirk on his face and a laugh tumbling out of his lips when Louis hits him up side the head.

♡

Thankfully, work that day goes by without any weird occurances from Louis’ apparent secret admirer.

He still has no idea who it could be. He’s actually still pretty certain that it’s one of the boys messing with him. They would do that sort of thing because, you know, they’re all bastards.

Pushing open the door to the flat Louis can’t help but smell one of his favorite smells: cupcakes.

When he said he loved sweets he meant it. Really anything sugary, to be honest. It’s not so bad that it’s a problem or it affects his health but he likes to indulge every once and a while. There’s no harm in that.

“Whatcha makin’?” Louis asks Harry when he walks into the kitchen.

He can’t help but notice that Harry’s wearing his extra tight jeans today. Interesting.

Harry looks over his shoulder at Louis and smirks. “It’s a surprise.”

Pouting, Louis hops up onto a spot on the counter that’s clear of any ingredients or utensils. “Please, H,” he pleads, making his blue eyes big and innocent.

“I already know what face you’re pulling,” Harry says. He hasn’t even turned around to look at Louis.

Louis makes a sound that’s akin to that of a sad puppy.

Harry _finally_ turns around, offering Louis the spoon that has a big dollop of chocolate batter on it. Louis licks it right off of the spoon and glances up at Harry through his lashes; he smirks.

Rolling his eyes, Harry turns back around to fill up the cupcake tin.

Louis already knows what it tastes like because Harry makes them specially for him. It took a little persuasion the first time Louis begged Harry to use banana instead of eggs but, he got there in the end. And Harry continued to make the recipe better and better and now the cupcakes he makes turn out like crack.

That’s why Harry says he only likes to make them on special occasions.

“So, what’s the special occasion?” Louis asks, licking  the corner of his mouth where he can still feel some of the delicious batter.

“Hmm?” Harry hums noncommittally.

“You only make these on special occasions.” Louis reminds, a little skeptically. He’s started swaying his feet back and forth. He can’t help but stare at Harry’s back. He’s just so fit. Louis groans internally. Like, who knew that spooning chocolate batter into a bloody cupcake tin could make someone’s back flutter like Harry’s is right now?

“Oh, no reason.” Harry shrugs. There’s an obvious smile in his voice but Louis isn’t going to bring that up.

The two of them stay in relative silence while Harry finishes filling up the tin and places it into the oven.

“How was work?” he asks.

“The usual. Me and Zayn found this sick kid though! You should have seen the way he could play the drums, mate. It was incredible.” Louis goes on excitedly. He really does love his job, he loves finding talented people. Although he doesn’t get to make any decisions about who he finds, he’s happy he can give them the - unknowing - opportunity.

Harry hums, again. He’s usually way more chatty than this.

“You okay, H?” Louis asks.

“What? Yeah, why do you ask?” Harry replies from his spot at the sink now; he’s rinsing off the bowls he used.

“You’re very...” Louis pauses, “Quiet.”

“Oh.” Louis doesn’t even need to be facing Harry to see that there is a blush creeping up onto his face. “Sorry. I guess I was just thinking.”

“About?” Louis prompts.

“Nothing important.” He turns around and walks over to Louis and stands between the open spot of Louis’ knees.

Louis blinks at him. He simultaneously hates and loves when he and Harry get this close. He hates it because all he can ever think about it leaning forward and capturing Harry’s amazing lips between his own; and he loves it because it makes his heart speed up to an uncontrollable speed that makes him feel light-headed in the best way.

It’s almost as if time has stopped because all Louis can visualise is him throwing his arms around Harry’s neck and pulling him in until their noses are brushing in little eskimo kisses. His heart bubbles at the idea. He could see it so clear: both of them smiling, and eventually laughing at how ridiculous they are but they don’t care because it’s so _them_. Then they’d kiss like it was any other day. It’d be soft and sweet but filled with so much love.

The problem is that isn’t what everyday life for them is. So, when Harry clears his throat Louis jumps.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. God, his face is beet red.

Quickly he stumbles down from the counter, bumping into Harry on the way because of how closely he was standing, and rushes to the front door to shove his feet into his shoes.

“Lou?” Harry calls, concern evident in his voice.

“I’ll be back!” Louis shouts back and pulls open the door.

Considering he never was, you’d think Louis was on the track team in secondary school with how fast he runs.

♡

He initially only thought to go for a walk, or a partial run and then a walk, but he thought better on it.

Currently he’s walking back and forth in front of Zayn and Niall’s building. He knows that if he goes and knocks on their door and tells them why he’s there they’re just gonna laugh and mock him for it. But it was either here or Liam’s and Liam’s place is too far for a quick meet up.

As if the boy himself felt that Louis needed him, Liam walks out of Zayn and Niall’s building.

“Li!” Louis shouts, running up to him.

“Oh, hey, mate,” Liam says.

If the look on Liam’s face is anything to go by then Louis would guess he looks a little too worse for wear at the moment.

“You okay?” Liam asks next.

Louis physically feels himself deflate at the question. It’s like 2 years worth of emotions just comes crashing down on him.

“I don’t think I can do it anymore,” he chokes out. He’s this close to actually crying. His heart feels like someone’s turned it to glass and each time he breaths another pieces breaks off. There’s so much running through his mind right now, he can’t even see straight.

Liam doesn’t need to ask what Louis is referring to, just opens his arms and lets Louis wrap around him for a cuddle. Louis sends up a quick thanks to whatever Something there may be in the sky for making Liam  equivalent to a human teddy bear.

“Come on,” Liam pulls away and looks at Louis’ sad face, “Let’s go get some tea and figure this out.”

Louis nods and thanks that Something again because Liam lets Louis stay tucked up under his arm, as if Liam was his own personal emotional body guard.

It doesn’t take them long to get to the tea shop, about 5 minutes. When they do, Liam makes sure to take the booth that’s farthest away from the door to both protect them from the cold and from curious eyes.

“Two teas, please,” Liam says to the barista as they walk by to their table; the barista nods and turns away to make them. “So what happened?” he asks when to turns to look at Louis.

Louis sniffles. “I just. I don’t think I can keep it in any longer.” He shrugs.

A statement that true probably has never left his mouth before.

His heart feels so heavy with pent up emotion that it’s at its breaking point. He can almost feel the little cracks happening right now. And really, when the dam’s walls finally collapse it’ll either bring him pure joy or utter devastation; he’ll lose his bestfriend.

“I know it’s easier said than done, but why don’t you just tell him?” Bless Liam, at least he’s gone for the easiest option first.

Louis shakes his head. “I’d rather not get rejected by me bestmate, no thanks.”

“But you don’t know he’s gonna reject you, Lou. You’re a catch.” Liam is such a sweetheart that Louis almost believes him.

The barista comes over to their table just then and hands them their teas and the check. Louis immediately pulls his tea closer to him and adds a little cream that’s sitting on the table. He takes a heavenly sip and relaxes into the booth.

“Maybe it’s just time I got over it.” Louis shrugs.

“If you wanted to get over him you would’ve a long time ago.” Liam chuckles.

“Shut up. Just tell me what to do,” Louis complains in a sad irritated voice.  

Liam is right though, Louis doesn’t want to get over Harry. How could he want to get over the one person he thinks is it for him?

“Tell him, then!” Liam shouts, or says loudly considering they’re in a tea house.

“I can’t!” Louis whisper-shouts back.

Liam shakes his head and throws a sugar packet at him. “Then I don’t know what to tell you, mate.”

“You’re no help. Pay for the teas and bring me home.” Louis huffs and stands from the booth to head outside.

His phone buzzes in his pocket: _are you okay ? :(_

Louis’ heart breaks. He locks his phone without replying and shoves his hands into his pockets. If Liam doesn’t hurry up-

“Come on, I’ll give you a lift.” Liam motions for Louis to tuck back under his arm as they walk back to Niall and Zayn’s flat where Liam has his car parked.

The short drive to drop Louis off is quiet except for the Justin Timberlake album that’s playing from Liam’s iPod. And if Liam thinks that Louis doesn’t realise he turns up the volume when Not A Bad Thing comes on, then he has something coming.

“Let me know how it goes!” Liam says cheerily when he pulls up to Louis’ building.

“I guess you won’t be hearing from me then,” Louis says in a flat tone.

Liam shakes his head, but before he can say something else that’s totally ridiculous, Louis shuts the car door and climbs the stairs to his heart’s death.

If you didn’t live in this flat the you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from when Louis left to when he returns. But Louis does live in this flat and he can tell the difference. Although it still smells amazing from Harry’s baking, Louis can feel how heavy the air is with worry.

He tries shutting the door as quietly as he can but apparently Harry’s developed bat like hearing because the minute it clicks shut he’s walking around the corner and staring at Louis.

“Uh,” Louis mutters, avoiding eye-contact, “Hey.”

“Lou,” Harry says softly, and though Louis isn’t looking he knows Harry is stepping towards him, hand raised to cradle his face; Louis shakes his head.

“I don’t want to talk about,” he says immediately, figuring he might as well just address the situation right away.

He tries to shimmy around Harry to go into his room to wallow on his own, but is intercepted by Harry’s hand on his arm.

“You can tell me anything,” he whispers.

 _Not this I can’t_. Louis thinks.

Taking a deep breath, Louis finally meets Harry’s eyes and plasters the fakest smile he can on his face - he knows Harry can see right through it - and says, “Maybe another time.”

Sighing, Harry lets go of Louis’ arm. Louis watches as Harry’s face immediately falls like he was expecting something from this.

For a split second Louis thinks that Harry knows, that he’s somehow figured it out because of how obvious Louis’ been over the past few days. His heart starts to beat faster - and not in the good way - in fear that he somehow called Harry on his phone while he was talking to Liam.

“The cupcakes are on the counter,” Harry mumbles. He drags himself to the living room and drops onto the couch and a minute later Louis can hear the familiar voices of some TV program.

Very quietly, Louis walks to the kitchen and grabs two cupcakes and a napkin before sneaking off to his room to have a proper breakdown.

He shoves one cupcake down his throat before he starts crying.

♡

Louis’ not sure when he fell asleep but when he wakes up there’s a heavy weight on his stomach.

He starts to panic because his stomach is not supposed to feel like this, but when he opens his eyes to the hazy morning glow that’s seeping in through his curtains and sees what it really is, he relaxes.

Figuring that he should enjoy this moment before he starts to have a meltdown, Louis stares down at Harry’s sleeping figure. He’s nozzled into one of Louis’ pillows, all sleep soft and happy looking with his fluffy hair resting against his forehead. He mumbles a little and Louis smiles; Harry’s just so cute Louis is a literal sad face emoticon.

The weight on Louis’ stomach turned out to be Harry’s arm, haphazardly thrown there while he was asleep. Unless he came in when Louis was in his half-asleep half-crying stage and tried to console him; Louis can’t remember.

Louis lets himself indulge in the moment for a few seconds longer, taking in the warmth that’s radiating off of Harry’s skin, the way his nose seems to twitch and eyes flutter back and forth under his eyelids. Louis wonders what he’s dreaming about.

As silently and as slowly as he can, Louis replaces himself with his pillow under Harry’s arm and sneaks out to the bathroom to get ready for work.

While he’s in the shower he plans how he’s going to end up ruining his friendship with Harry.

♡

“What the fuck?” Louis asks when he walks into his and Zayn’s office.

Zayn is already sitting down in his comfy black chair and laughing. “They were here when I came in,” he says.

Right there, on Louis’ desk is a huge vase that’s packed with red roses.

“This is ridiculous,” Louis huffs. He throws his bag next to his (work) laptop that sits on his desk and stares down at the red swirls. It’s like they’re taunting him.

“I think I saw a card in there somewhere.” Zayn points at the bundle of flowers from his seat.

“I’m glad you find this amusing.” Louis carefully finds the little white card and pulls it out. “Because I still think it’s fucking creepy.”

The card is simple enough, the front reading: TO: Louis, FROM: xx.

There is, however, another poem on the back, which freaks Louis the fuck out the moment he reads the last two lines.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Follow your heart_

_and he’ll give you his too._

Louis skeptically eyes Zayn before taking the card and shoving it into his pocket.

He doesn’t know who the hell is sending him these things but he’s just glad that Valentine’s day is soon so they can stop freaking him the hell out.

“So,” Zay drawls.

Oh no. Louis has a feeling he knows what’s coming.

“Please don’t,” he tries.

“Liam told me about yesterday.” Zayn continues anyways.

Louis sighs and falls back into his chair. He knew Liam would, he always does. Louis isn’t mad or anything it’s just. He would rather not talk or think about this again since it’s all he’s been doing for the last two days.

They stay silent until Zayn says, “I think Liam’s right, you should just tell him.”

Do either of them understand that he _can’t_.

“Well,” Louis starts to laugh hysterically, he wipes a hand over his face to try and contain himself, “It seems like I don’t have a choice anymore.”

Sigh, Louis misses the time in his life when he could live with this. When he could just switch it off and ignore every piece of him that was screaming _I love you!!!_ to Harry. Now, all he’s able to think about is how Harry looked so peaceful this morning while he was sleeping.

Zayn stands, walks over to Louis and places a hand on his shoulder. There’s a warm smile on his tanned skin. “Who knows maybe he’ll feel the same way.”

Louis thinks back to the note that’s in his pocket.

Laughing bitterly he replies, “Yeah, maybe.”

♡

If Louis actually liked Valentine’s Day he’d blame cupid.

He’d blame cupid because every time Harry starts to make a stupid joke Louis can’t help but smile and laugh, even though Harry’s jokes can range from stupidly clever to printed on a popsicle stick Louis never fails to find them funny.

He’d blame cupid because every time Harry gets a little too close, Louis’ stomach starts to twist and flutter with how much he wants to attach his lips to Harry’s and never let go. Hell if they lived during Pompeii Louis wouldn’t mind being cemented to death if he was kissing Harry while it happened.

He’d blame cupid because he’s about 4 seconds away from a breakdown and 6 seconds away from ruining his friendship with the boy that means the most to him in the entire world.

There aren’t always things that Louis prepares himself for but you are kidding yourself if you think this is one of them.

When he’d gotten home from work he’d went straight into his room, grabbed his marvel backpack, and shoved some clothes and other necessities in it. He might have also put some of Harry’s cupcakes in a sandwich container and stuffed that in his bag as well, but no one has to know.

Although he had settled on telling Harry tonight so his whole body wouldn’t combust with feelings, he didn’t exactly figure out when in the night he would tell him.

Currently they’re sitting at the kitchen table, both eating the wonderful pasta that Harry’s made.

 _God, I’m gonna miss this._ Louis think as he takes another bite.

“So, how was your day Lou?” Harry asks.

“Oh,” Louis stutters, “It was okay. Got another gift from that creep admirer.”

“Really? What?” Harry asks, fully intrigued. His green eyes are so big and attentive. If Louis’ gonna miss one thing the most, Harry’s eyes would probably be it.

“A vase of roses.”

Louis watches as Harry’s face scrunches up in thought and then quickly smooth out. “Oh, was there another card?”

“Yeah, just the standard little one that comes with the vase.” Louis stabs at another noodle and then looks up at a quizzical Harry. “What?” he says cautiously.

“Nothing.” Harry shoves a fork full of noodles into his huge mouth, after chewing and swallowing he says. “Did it, um, say anything?”

“Just a stupid Rose are red poem,” Louis answers slowly, suspiciously. “Why?”

“No reason!” Harry says too quickly and way too high pitched. “Seconds?” he asks and gets up from the table rushing over to the stove to pile some more pasta on his plate.

Harry’s so fucking weird, why does Louis even love this kid?

A sudden wave of sadness washes over Louis and he slumps. His appetite is slowly dissipating as he realises just what he’s about to lose just because his stupid feelings had to go and get in the way. You know what the funniest part of this whole thing is? Louis would rather suffocate in these unreciprocated feelings than not love Harry at all.

The rest of dinner goes by in a weird silence that is only broken when they start cleaning up. They move around each other like two same charge ends of magnets that want to touch but can’t.

Louis accidentally bumps into Harry’s arm and nearly jumps three feet back. A blush quickly makes it’s way onto his cheeks. “Sorry,” he squeaks.

Harry just smiles, but not one that reaches his eyes or makes his dimples dig into his cheeks. “‘S all right.”He sounds sad.

Fuck, maybe Louis should just lie and stay with Zayn and Niall until he figures this out.

Something tells him not to though and that’s why the next thing out of his mouth is, “Uh, Harry can I talk to you for a second?”

“Course.” Harry leans with his back pressed against the counter.

Louis already has his shoes on and his bag is near the door for when he eventually has to run out of here after his entire life is ruined, because of some stupid ass chemicals in his brain being released when so much as even thinks about Harry.

“I, um, don’t really know how to say this,” Louis starts. He’s so nervous his stomach feels like it’s about to drop out of his ass.

Maybe a blackhole will mysteriously appear and swallow him whole so he doesn’t have to do this.

Harry’s being so patient. He’s nibbling on his pink lips nervously, almost anxiously as Louis scratches at the back of his neck.

“God.” Louis looks away from Harry’s figure and up at the white ceiling. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry and he’s not, that’ll only make things 10 times worse than they’re already going to be after this.

“Lou.” Harry tries to reach out but Louis backs away.

“Just.” Louis shakes his head. “You’re so great, you know that right?” Louis asks. “You’re so great and you’re so amazing and you put up with me even though I can be a little shit at times.”

Harry smiles.

“You laugh at everything I say, even when it’s not even that funny, and you make me those stupid cupcakes even when it’s not a special occasion even though you’ve deemed them only for those times.”

Louis laughs before continuing, he’s getting hysterical. There’s all sorts of emotions bubbling away in his chest: love, sadness, _love_. God, he’s never felt a love run so deep before, he never know one could. It’s so consuming it runs through him like blood.

“Honestly, H, who knows where the hell I’d be if you weren’t by my side for the last decade.”

Harry tries to interrupt. “Louis, is everything okay?” He sounds so worried. His face is wrinkled up in confusion but there’s a pretty floral pink color dusted on his cheeks.

Confidence bubbles up in Louis when he starts to see Harry’s eyes water. He strides over in 4 short steps until he’s standing right in front of Harry. It’s really now or never, isn’t it?

“Don’t cry, love,” he whispers. Bringing his hands up to cradle Harry’s cheeks in them, he rubs his thumbs under Harry’s eyes.

“You’re scaring me a little, if I’m honest,” Harry chokes out.

Louis laughs sadly. “Hey, none of that, okay? Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Harry tries to look down, like he doesn’t want to meet Louis’ eyes, but if Louis is only ever going to get to say this once then he wants to do it right.

“Look at me okay?” Louis lifts Harry’s head and takes a deep breath. “I love you,” he says it in a single breath, so softly that it could be carried away with a single breeze.

Harry’s eyes go wide, surprised.

“And, I’m only telling you because I couldn’t handle keeping it in anymore. I love you, and I’m sorry.” He pulls his hands away and starts walking towards the entryway.

“Lou,” Harry whispers.

“It’s okay, Harry. You don’t have to say anything.” Picking up his bag, Louis shoulders it on and adjusts it. “I’m gonna stay with Zayn and Niall for a little.”

“You don’t have to.” Harry starts to reach out, he still looks shocked, but Louis shifts away.

“I do,” he says sadly. The tears are threatening to spill again.

“You don’t have to leave,” Harry’s tone is stern, like he’s putting his foot down.

Shaking his head, Louis steps towards Harry. “I’ll be back. Don’t worry, I’d never leave you forever, only if you wanted me to.” He smiles sadly and carefully pecks a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

He doesn’t know whether he’s saying goodbye to Harry or the life he had with him, probably both.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” Louis reassures Harry before opening the door.

“Promise.” Harry looks likes he’s about to cry, but Louis needs to go. He needs to give Harry his space.

“I promise.”

When Louis shuts the door his breathing is shaky.

At least he’ll always have the memories of before he screwed everything up to hold on to.

♡

Zayn and Niall let Louis crash and wallow on their couch for two days before they hold an intervention.

“Mate, can you at least call him back? He’s worried sick,” Niall says with a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

Louis just shrugs.

He hasn’t showered since he’s gotten here and Zayn has told him about 8 times today that he needs to because he really doesn’t want his couch smelling like tears and Louis’ stank; he’s a great friend.

“As much as we love you Lou, you can’t stay on our couch for the rest of your life,” Zayn points out. He sits at the end of the couch near Louis’ feet and starts to pat his ankle, consolingly.

“I can’t go back this weekend,” Louis mumbles. He tries to burrow himself deeper into the cocoon of blankets that he’s been in since he’s gotten here. Honestly, he could stay here for the rest of his life if they let him, but they obviously aren’t going to.

Zayn and Niall share a look before glancing back at Louis.

“But, Valentine’s Day is like your and Harry’s unofficial official thing.” Niall reminds, like Louis doesn’t fucking know that.

Remember how he said he never _really_ spends the Sappy Holiday alone, yeah, that’s because he spends it with Harry on their couch, cuddled up and watching as many movies as they can. Plus there’s always loads of sweets that they get each other, which Louis loves.

Last year, God, Louis will ever forget last year. He was a little too tipsy on bubbly champagne and a little too sugar high from all the chocolate Harry had bought him so he climbed right into Harry’s lap and just kissed all over his pretty porcelain face.

Of course he acted like he’d forgotten it ever happened because he was so embarrassed the following day, and Harry’d never brought it up so they’ve never talked about it.

“You know you’re gonna have to talk about this with him, right? You can’t avoid it forever.” Why is Zayn like this?

Why are Zayn and Niall like this, aren’t they supposed to be his friends?

“Can’t I just stay one more day?” Louis mutters.He widens his eyes until they’re saucer like and blinks sadly up at his “friends.”

“Yeah.” Niall nods. “We just know the longer you wait to talk the harder it is going to be.” At least Niall sounds apologetic.

Louis nods and closes his eyes. “Thank you.”

The three of them are silent for a couple of minutes before Zayn says, “So, I guess this wouldn’t be a good time to tell you that you got another vase of flowers at work today, huh?”

Groaning, Louis rolls over and opens his eyes to stare at the blank ceiling.

“Was there a card?” he reluctantly asks.

Zayn gets off the couch and walks into the kitchen before returning with a familiar looking little white card.

After handing it to Louis he motions for Niall to leave so Louis can be alone.

_If love is what you wish for_

_let yourself fall_

_into the widely opened arms._

Sighing, Louis shoves the card into his shoe next to the couch and turns over to sleep the rest of the day away.

At least his admirer will leave him alone after tomorrow.

Fuck, Valentine’s Day.

♡

The next day Louis gets up and showers before he talks himself out of it.

He relishes in the hot water that hits his skin and silently pretends that he didn’t mess up the most important friendship he has.

For a moment he thinks that maybe he hasn’t messed everything up, maybe there is an odd chance that Harry feels the same way. Louis’ dumbass secret admirer seems to think so anyways. Which how would they know anyways? Louis doesn’t really care at this point.

It’s all or nothing.

Louis washes with Niall’s strongly scented body wash and immediately misses the soft scent of the vanilla one that Harry buys for them at their flat.

Turning off the water, Louis gets out and dries himself off before pulling on his joggers and t-shirt. He tries to avoid looking himself in the mirror but it’s inevitable when he’s brushing his teeth.

He has dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping as well as he could be, and there’s a nick or two on his neck from shaving. Whatever, he doesn’t have to look good for anyone today anyone’s. At least his hair looks good; he smiles a little to himself.

“Hey, mate.” Zayn knocks on the door.

Louis shoves his dirty clothes into his bag and then opens the door. “Yeah?”

“Um, something came for you,” he mutters, almost like he doesn’t want to tell Louis.

Louis immediately rolls his eyes because it’s probably another gift from his secret admirer.

He follows Zayn into the kitchen where’s there’s a pink pastel box sitting on the table. It looks scarily familiar to the one he bought earlier in the week.

There’s something written right on the box and the closer Louis gets the more his stomach drops because he knows that handwriting, has seen it on countless notes and reminders pinned all over the flat.

_Dinner tonight? - H xx_

Swallowing, Louis slowly opens the box to see rows of chocolate covered strawberries; his favorite.

He groans and falls into one of the kitchen table chairs. Putting his head onto his folded arms he whines, “Why?”

“We told you, he’s worried about you.” A warm hand comes to rest on Louis’ shoulder and squeezes. “And if he’s anything like you he probably misses you too.” Zayn laughs, trying to lighten the dark mood that’s fallen over Louis’ head, and this entire day.

“It’s just going to be awkward,” Louis huffs stubbornly.

Louis isn’t looking at Zayn but he knows by the silence that Zayn is giving him a deadpan look.

“I don’t think anything could be awkward between you two.” He sounds suggestive.

Right away, Louis knows what Zayn is referring to and he starts to blush a deep red; he borrows his face into his arms more.

“Shut up,” he grumbles.

“Come on, since then have things been awkward?”

“No,” Louis says lowly.

Once, just before Louis realised that he had feelings for Harry, Harry walked in on him doing not so PG-13 things with a vibrator. It was horrible, and so embarrassing at the time but they got over it.

And from then on the Valentine’s Day Vibrator tradition was born.

“Once you get there and stop thinking so much, everything’s gonna be fine.” Zayn pats his back.

“Yeah,” Louis mutters and pulls open the pastel box again.

If anything, he’ll just take this whole box and Baby Blue to a hotel tonight like the pathetic human being that he feels like.

♡

Louis been staring at his flat door for 10 minutes now.

The thought of knocking has crossed his mind about 7 times and he’s felt ridiculous for thinking each time. He _lives_ here. Sure it might, now, very well be an awkward living experience because he had to go and open his mouth, but he still pays half of the rent.

He takes a deep breath, places his cold hand on the knob and turns before he can run off again.

Silently, he walks in and toes off his shoes in hopes that maybe he’ll be able to sneak into his room before this whole thing goes down.

His stomach feels like a sailor’s practice rope.

Too bad Harry still has bat like hearing so before Louis can even get his second shoe off he’s being picked up off of the floor.

“Harry!” he screeches unattractively.

Even though he’s supposed to still feel scared out of his mind right now, he can’t help the fluttering that he feels in his stomach. There’s a smile stretching across his face as he grips onto Harry’s shoulders as he’s fucking _twirling_ them around.

Louis’ never felt happier to be in someone’s arms.

When Harry finally puts Louis’ feet back onto the floor and he looks straight into his eyes with such intensity Louis has to look away.

“Hey, look at me.” Harry demands.

Timidly, Louis looks up until his eyes are locked onto Harry, like a missile to it’s target.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Harry starts, he has one hand on Louis’ hip and one on the nap of his neck; Louis feels like he’s going to melt.

“I-” Louis tries but Harry gives him a Look that makes him snap his mouth shut.

“You were a jerk,” Harry says in a matter-of-fact tone.

Chuckling, just because he can’t believe Harry is this close to him, _holding_ him, and looking at him like they’re the only two in the world. “I was. I am. I’m sorry.”

A small smile creeps onto Harry’s face. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry for telling me you love me, because then I might need to feel sorry too.”

Louis swears the whole universe stops. It’s cliche and so stupid but he can’t help but feel like they’re suspended in time as they both stare at each other.

“Wait.” Louis suppresses a smile, his heart is beating so fast.

“I love you too,” Harry says, smile enveloping his entire face, before Louis can continue.

They’re so stupid, this whole thing is stupid.

Louis doesn’t even want to question anything because he doesn’t care. Who would when they’re practically wrapped up in the arms of the boy they would die for.

Just because now he can, he whispers with a permanent small and happy smile on his face, “Does this mean I can kiss you now?”

Harry cackles, head thrown back and wonderful neck exposed. God Louis can’t wait to leave lovebites all over the pale skin there. Marking Harry up until each spot it bruised with love and Louis.

“Yeah, this means you can kiss me now.”

So, Louis does.

He kisses Harry with every ounce of love he has in him. He kisses him slowly, scared at first because this is new and although it’s fucking incredible Louis is still scared shitless but Harry kisses back like he knows their future, and maybe he does.

They stumble back against the hallway and Louis pulls away. “Fuck, my foot.”

“What? Did you hit it?” Harry asks, concern etched onto his forehead.

“No, there’s something in my shoe.” He holds onto Harry’s arm while he takes off the shoe he never got to earlier and a white rectangle falls out.

“Oops.” Louis blushes but he’s too slow and Harry’s already bent down and picking up the card.

He reads it over, eyes widening as he looks up to Louis biting his lip. “You, uh, got one of these too?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean too?” he says slowly, like he’s heard Harry wrong.

“Yeah,” Harry rubs the back of his neck, “I got one at work yesterday and earlier this week. The day you left, actually.”

“What’d that one say?” Louis asks.

“It was a roses are red, poem.” Harry blushes.

What. The. Fuck.

“So, do we have the same secret admirer?”

“It seems more like they wanted us _together_.” Louis laughs, grabbing the card from Harry and inspecting it like it’ll give them an answer.

A moment passes before someone knocks on their door. They both look at each other curiously before walking cautiously over and opening it.

There, at their doorstep is a vase of red roses, a white card sticking out proudly.

Louis grabs it and starts to laugh when he reads what’s written there.

“ _You’re welcome. Liam_ ,” he reads to Harry.

“He knew you had feelings for me?” Louis asks Harry, eyes comically wide.

“I could be saying the same for you.”

Fucking Liam.

“Whatever.” Louis shakes his head.

“Yeah, we’re together now that’s all that matters.” Harry smiles, leaning down to capture Louis’ mouth in a sugary sweet kiss.

Louis heart flutters in his chest, and his cheeks plump up into a smile as he pecks Harry’s lips over and over again until they’re giggling into each other’s mouths.

Looks like Louis doesn’t have to blame cupid afterall.

-fin

**Author's Note:**

> in a reality where i like writing smut harry would use baby blue on louis after eating dinner and feeding him chocolate covered strawberries [smirky face.emoji]
> 
> kudos and comments always appreciated .x 
> 
> sorry if the ending bit seemed a little rushed bc i just finished it like 30 minutes ago and just wanted to get it done. clearly not my best fic, thank you for reading tho!! .xx


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